Tag: lifecoaching

Self care is not selfish

Posted on by Fiora Touliatou

Article by Fiora Touliatou

Photo by Madison Inouye from Pexels

With the dawn of the new year, we all start making resolutions and goals. Even if we don’t literally write them down, we all have hopes for a good year and our priority is a better quality of life, health, happiness, fulfillment and prosperity. Therefore, we make an effort and start investing in our wellbeing. And here is where the meaning of self care emerges and a deeper knowledge of the subject is needed in order to fully understand how we will successfully improve our wellbeing.

Nowadays, the meaning of self care is so misunderstood that there are different myths about it that, unfortunately, many people mistakenly believe. The most common beliefs are that self care is a time-consuming selfish indulgence and it is all about a superficial physical pampering. Although physical pampering is indeed one way to practice self care, it is however only one type of the different physical types which belong to one category in the list of the different self care categories that you can practice!

The big bold truth is that self care is a mindful and holistic daily practice that covers all aspects of our lives. Ideally, it should be a holistic lifestyle that, when done properly and with consistent effort, it nurtures all aspects of our wellbeing. Life is diverse and complicated and so are we and our health! Taking care of ourselves in a mindful way that covers all areas of our lives, not only is not selfish and a waste of time, but crucial for our existence, happiness and prosperity! Apart from our general and holistic wellbeing, self care leads to building resilience and replenishing us, both physically and emotionally. Most importantly, self care can even prevent a burn-out or a mental break down, which are so common in our modern society these days.

So what are the different categories of self-care and what types of practice does each category contain? Let’s have a look!

Social self care – healthy connections and healthy communication

  • making healthy connections, relationships and communicating in a healthy way with others
  • connecting with people with similar interests, views, beliefs (in person or online via social media)
  • spending quality time with friends and family
  • keeping in contact with people who lift you up and have a positive impact on your life (even if it is a short text or voice message)

Educational self care – self-growth through knowledge and life-long learning

Emotional & Mental self care – anything that contributes and affects our emotional & mental wellbeing; these 2 categories are so interwoven that most types of practices below are affecting both of them

  • journaling to express and release your thoughts and emotions
  • art therapy or dance therapy to express and release your emotions
  • meditation
  • good sleep
  • yoga
  • making time for fun and hobbies
  • solitude & introspection in silence; distance yourself from everything (not only physically but also digitally) to reconnect with yourself, find your inner balance, process your emotions, process thoughts and generally release what does not serve you
  • keeping up with your tasks, responsibilities, work, finances etc
  • Earthing, aka grounding
  • spending time in nature
  • Epsom salt baths; the combination of salt and water can release both muscular tension and negative emotions from your energetic field
  • mindfulness (either on your own or with a mindfulness coach)
  • positive affirmations
  • positive self-talk
  • talking therapies, such as councelling, CBT, psychology, psychotherapy etc
  • finding your purpose and manifest your dreams and goals (either on your own or with a coach)

Physical self care – anything that contributes to and affects our physical wellbeing

  • healthy and balanced meals
  • good sleep
  • drinking plenty of water
  • exercise (sports, gym,dance)
  • yoga
  • Epsom salt baths; the combination of salt and water can release both muscular tension and negative emotions from your energetic field
  • massage
  • dry brushing
  • keeping yourself groomed and presentable (the opposite is actually a sign of poor and declining mental health!)

Spiritual self care – a very personal practice that can be different for each one

  • having a faith (not necessarily religion but spiritual practice that connects us to the meaning of life and gives us purpose)
  • spiritual practices that make us better people, kinder, more compassionate and humble
  • unconditional helping/volunteering for others, community, animals, environment etc; offering services to contribute to others

The list is to be used as a suggestion and advice. There so much more types of self care and the list is endless. Please use the above list as a general guide for inspiration, start investing in your own self care and encourage others to do the same! Let’s create a better future starting from making changes in our lives!

How to manifest new years resolutions into reality with effective results

Posted on by Fiora Touliatou

Article by Fiora Touliatou

At the beginning of every year, most people are enthusiastic and setting their intentions with a list of new years resolutions, most common ones being related to fitness and diet. But somehow, this enthusiasm fades away and the resolutions are abandoned by mid-February. Why is this happening and how can we change it to achieve our goals and get the results we are dreaming of?

The quick answer to this is that we need to make the necessary changes in our lives. Although the first step is to write down our resolutions, this doesn’t mean our goals will automatically manifest into reality if we don’t work towards them. Real change starts from within and self-responsibility is essential. In brief, we need to change our mindset, our habits, and be consistent with our efforts and work towards our goals. Changing our mindset is number one on the list of success. The real catalyst to making effective changes in life is acquiring a growth mindset as opposed to the limited mindset that keep us in a circle of procrastination and self-pity. Once we acquire this, we have a powerful tool to achieve anything we put our mind into.

Growth mindset vs limited mindset

Growth mindset looks like this:

  • Learning new skills and acquiring new knowledge.
  • I can achieve anything I want.
  • There are no failures, only learning experiences.
  • When one way is not working, find another way.
  • Difficulties are catalysts that challenge us to help us grow.
  • Giving up is not an option, reset, pivot and keep trying is the only option.
  • Feedback is constructive and helps me grow and improve.
  • A positive attitude and constant effort determine the result.

The opposite of this is the limited mindset which is based on limiting beliefs, having a victim-mentality and blaming external factors for our failures. It basically looks like this:

  • I don’t have time or want to learn new skills, I want fast and effortless results.
  • I can either be excellent in something or not good at all.
  • My abilities are predetermined by my genes, my age, my race, my size, my education.
  • Failure proves to me that I am not good at something and I should give up.
  • Feedback is criticism and feels uncomfortable.
  • I don’t like getting out of my comfort zone.

How to acquire a growth mindset

Acquiring a growth mindset is a totally new skill on its own and it can be applied to anything you want to achieve. The first step to having a growth mindset is to have the will and enthusiasm to change. And afterwards working with different techniques such as:

  • visualisation,
  • positive affirmations,
  • reading positive news/information,
  • following motivational speakers or social media pages,
  • being surrounded by positive and encouraging people.

However, for more integrated and long-lasting results, having a life coach is essential to guide you to make the changes you desire. Life coaching can help one discover their inner power and inspire them to new ways of attracting the life they want.

Photo credit by Olya Kobruseva from Pexels

The healing power of silence

Posted on by Fiora Touliatou

Article by Fiora Touliatou

“Listen to Silence. It has so much to say.”

Rumi, 13th century Persian poet
Photo by VisionPic from Pexels

Since ancient times, ascetics from different spiritual practices have spent significant amounts of time in silence and isolation, either with prayer or meditation. Even nowadays, monks and spiritual practitioners retreat themselves for days without socialising or talking to anyone. Throughout history, artists and musicians always had the tendency to spend time on their own in order to connect to inspiration and creativity. Nowadays, many meditation teachers advise that frequent meditative pauses throughout the day have poweful healing effect to our body, mind and soul regardless of our spiritual beliefs. So what is the significance of silence in our lives?

Modern science has proved that noise is destructive to us while silence is healing us. Various studies have shown that noise has a powerful physical yet destructive effect on our brains, because it causes the release of stress hormones. Actually, not only our brain, but our whole energetic field, our aura, receives noise as disruptive sound waves. Even when we are sleeping our body receives noise as intrusive and threatening to our system, therefore it reacts with releasing stress hormones. Consequently, living in a consistently noisy environment causes high levels of stress and can even lead to high blood pressure, heart disease, tinnitus and insomnia.

In 2006, physician Luciano Bernardi studied the physiological effects of noise and music. He surprisingly made a very important discovery. During the study, the participants were not only exposed to noise and music, but also to random stretches of silence in between. These pauses were far more relaxing for the brain of the participants than the relaxing music. In fact, these ‘irrelevant’ pauses became the most important aspect of the study as they had the most powerful and relaxing effect.

In 2011, the World Health Organisation (WHO) stated that the root cause of 3,000 heart disease deaths in Western Europe was due to excessive noise.

All these facts and other important studies and practices are a proof that taking time to switch off is crucial to our wellbeing and our lives in general.

According to the “attention restoration theory”, when we are in silence, the brain can recover some of its cognitive abilities. Moreover, according to Imke Kirste, a Duke University regenerative biologist, two hours of silence per day can initiate cell development in the hippocampus, our brains center of our memory and senses.

Unfortunately, in our modern digital world, our brains have minimal time to switch off as we are exposed to enormous amounts of information. Modern life demands our brains to be in constant attention and consequently a lot of stress. This mental overload leads us into difficulties with making decisions, solving problems and daily functions. However, when we switch off and ideally spend time alone in silence, our brain is finally able to relax, release this constant focus and start its healing process.

To conclude, silence replenishes and nourishes our cognitive powers, raises our concentration levels, increases our motivation and helps us connect with our centres and balances us emotionally. Hence, as ancient spiritual masters always taught, silence is healing as it connects us deeply into ourselves and balances our body, mind and soul. The simple yet ancient practice of silence might be the healing balm we all need to cope with our modern lifestyle.

The simple things in life are the most important

Posted on by Fiora Touliatou

Article by Fiora Touliatou

Have we learnt yet to be grateful for what we have? To make the most of every single day? To be happy with simple things? To be grateful for our health? For being alive?

Photo by Matheus Viana from Pexels

Everything in life happens for a reason. After every disaster there are new beginnings, new life, new ways of living. Nature always has a way and as we are part of it, we find a way to get through and manage. This period of the global pandemic and lockdown has undoubtably changed our lives in every aspect. Everything we had taken for granted was suddenly threatened.

We were forced to stop, we were forced to realise that we need to find new ways of living our life, new ways of existing. Precisely, we were simply forced to stop and appreciate everything around us. Appreciate our life, our existence, our health. Appreciate our family, our friends, our neighbours, our community, our networks. Appreciate the planet we live on; we are part of it. The planet can live without us but we cannot live without it.

We had to realise how important it is to reach out to others, to care, to ask for help or offer help, to create new ways to support or be supported. Suddenly, the definition of wealthy changed to being alive, being healthy, being happy, being loved, being supported, being appreciated.

The most important is that we had to learn (or remind ourselves) about solidarity between people, being a nice human being. Because this is the real health and happiness, when we are nice we shine from inside, we are all connected, we are all one.

Let’s hope that humanity will remember this once we get back to what we consider normal.

Whatever you are not changing, you are choosing!

Posted on by Fiora Touliatou

Article by Fiora Touliatou

Photo by Ken Ozuna from Pexels

Most things in our lives are our choice. When we don’t like something or it makes us unhappy, then we have to change it. I know it sounds harsh and the truth is that for some things the decision to make the change is clearly much more difficult but again it is our choice whether to stay in that situation or not. There is no “I can’t do it”, there is “I don’t want to do it”. Either we do not want to accept a reality or we are comfortable with a situation and then we find thousands of excuses that we say to ourselves and others to convince ourselves that we are helpless and at the mercy of our fate. Many times it is easier to stay stagnant and just complain.

We have all been in a difficult situation, where we had to make a decision but we resisted. Our mind was telling us to go and our heart was telling us to stay and try harder: a dead-end relationship, a collapsed marriage, a job that we hate, living in a town/city where we were unhappy, a friendship that had betrayed and disappointed us, a home that had serious problems … The list is endless and we all have similar stories to share. 

The blunt truth is that, when we love, respect and value our lives, then we must take personal responsibility and decide how and when to make the necessary change. The longer we postpone it, the worse the situation will go. At some point things will become so bad that we will be forced to make the decision. 

On the bright side, once we take our decision, everything will magically start working on our favour. New people will enter our lives, new opportunities will appear out of nowhere, new doors will open. We just have to make a trust fall with the universe and believe in ourselves. Self-growth can be painful but it is a necessary process for a better quality of life and self-fulfillment. In the end of the day, it is better to look back and be proud of what we achieved than to look back resenting decisions we didn’t take.

Health means happiness

Posted on by Fiora Touliatou

Article by Fiora Touliatou

Health is not merely the absence of illness… Health is the balance of our body-mind-soul wellness, our holistic wellbeing.

What is health? Most of us would say the absence of illness. However, there is a much more profound meaning than that.

Health is the balance of our body-mind-soul wellness, our holistic wellbeing. Health is being physically, emotionally and mentally well. If one aspect of this balance is affected, the others get affected too. Therefore we need to take seriously all areas of our lives in order to be healthy. We could eat the right food, do exercise, even drink or smoke socially and have absence of physical illnesses while being angry, resentful and hostile to others. This is not healthy. We could be physically healthy, have a good job, good income but suffer from anxiety, chronic stress or depression. This is not healthy either.

Mental health is a big issue in our society because of many different reasons. For example, having extreme pressure at work, feeling lonely/isolated, being in toxic relationships, working in jobs that we are being bullied or harassed, having issues with friends or family, grieving the loss of a loved one, having endured a shock… The list is endless and we all have our own unique story. The lack of love, inner peace and happiness on a daily basis are huge reasons for mental health in modern society. Basic human connection is rare and we all suffer because of it. So what should we do?

Finding and maintaining a balance in all areas of our lives is the solution; following a holistic lifestyle and taking equal care of each aspect of our wellness; finding our center and inner peace. This is why wellbeing has become a trend and is getting more and more popular. The demand is huge because in modern society we have lost the connection within ourselves and we need to find it again in order to regain health.

Eastern traditions and Buddhist practices from China, India and other Asian countries have believed in this concept for centuries. Nowadays, these Eastern wisdom has spread into the West and becoming popular: herbal medicine, morning meditation, daily yoga practice, regular massage or Reiki sessions, Taichi and Chi Qung practice, mindfulness and lifestyle philosophies. Having good health is a journey, not a destination. Putting effort, creating good habits and investing in ourselves is the key.

We need to be happy and grateful every single moment, every single day. We need to focus on the positive things and find solutions for the negative ones. We need to make the most of every day and every moment. Let’s do this our new year resolution, for every year, for every day!

Photos and collage by Canva