Tag: life coaching model

Article by Fiora Touliatou

Photo by Polina Kovaleva from Pexels

“New year, new me”, the motto at the beginning of each year for the trend of setting our new year’s resolutions. However, the enthusiasm fades away and the resolutions are abandoned by mid-February. Some people even go as far as to say that this doesn’t work. But why is this happening and how can we change it to achieve our goals and get the results we are dreaming of?

The quick answer to this is that we need to make the necessary changes in our lives. Although the first step is to write down our resolutions, this doesn’t mean our goals will automatically manifest into reality if we don’t work towards them. Writing down our new year resolutions is more about intention setting which is different than goal setting. Indeed, the first step for making changes is the goal setting, but that’s only the beginning. There is a lot more work to be done which takes time, consistency and discipline.

Real change starts from within and self-responsibility is essential. In brief, we need to change our mindset, have healthier habits, and be consistent with our efforts and work towards our goals on a daily and weekly basis. Changing our mindset is number one on the list of success. The real catalyst to making effective changes in life is acquiring a growth mindset as opposed to the limited mindset. The latter keeps us in a circle of procrastination, victim mentality and self-pity. Once we acquire growth mindset, we have a powerful tool to achieve anything we put our mind into.

Growth mindset vs limited mindset

Growth mindset looks like this:

• Learning new skills and acquiring new knowledge.
• I can achieve anything I want.
• There are no failures, only learning experiences.
• When one way is not working, find another way.
• Difficulties are catalysts that challenge us to help us grow.
• Giving up is not an option, reset, pivot and keep trying is the only option.
• Feedback is constructive and helps me grow and improve.
• A positive attitude and constant effort determine the result.

The opposite of this is the limited mindset which is based on limiting beliefs, having a victim mentality and blaming external factors for our failures. It basically looks like this:

• I don’t have time or want to learn new skills, I want fast and effortless results.
• I can either be excellent in something or not good at all.
• My abilities are predetermined by my genes, my age, my race, my size, my education.
• Failure proves to me that I am not good at something and I should give up.
• Feedback is criticism and feels uncomfortable.
• I don’t like getting out of my comfort zone.

How to acquire a growth mindset

Acquiring a growth mindset is a totally new skill on its own and can be applied to anything you want to achieve. The first step to having a growth mindset is to have the will and enthusiasm to learn new things, to be willing to get out of your comfort zone, to not be afraid to change and progress. And afterwards working constantly with different techniques such as: visualisation, positive affirmations, reading positive news/information, following motivational speakers or social media pages, being surrounded by positive and encouraging people.

SMART goals

Now, how do we go from goal setting into manifesting our goals?

The third step after setting intentions and acquiring a growth mindset is goal setting by using the SMART model from life coaching. The SMART goals acronym stands for the qualities that each of your goals should have:

• Specific: be specific and focused about what your goal is as well as how you will work towards it
• Measurable: define what success is for you; how will you know whether you achieved your goal
• Achievable: a goal should be challenging but reasonable and realistic to achieve.
• Realistic/Relevant: be honest with yourself whether this goal is really what you want, aligned to your values, beliefs and a priority
• Timebound: every goal should have a target time/date, so it gives your motivation, discipline and focus. However, you need to set a realistic time frame for each goal you set up.

For example, let’s choose a goal which is very common as a new year’s resolution: getting fit (or fitter if you already are exercising a bit). So being Specific is how fit you want to be: is a small change enough or do you want a big change? (This will also determine your Timebound quality). So let’s say you want to have visible results and also feel better and more confident.

Once you decide about your Specific goal, define the Measurable: what the success of your goal is, thus at what point you will be happy with achieving it. So in this case, have a vision of how you would like your body to look and how you imagine you will feel with your new image.

And then you need to define Achievable: find out what fitness styles and routines you need, how regularly and for how long you need to train for until you get to your goal. For noticing some changes, it can take 1-3 months, but for big transformation if can take 6-12 months. This is somehow challenging, but achievable, as long as your training and discipline are consistent.

However, be Realistic (aka Relevant) as to whether this goal is what you really want versus what others have made you believe you want. This could be peer pressure from your family, friends, workplace or even your exposure to social media to what society’s standards should be. If you don’t really believe in your goal but you are made to believe you need it, it’s not going to work on the long run and you will eventually give up.

And finally, your goal needs to be Timebound and have a target time. Depending on your previous choice in regards to Achievable, this target time could be anywhere from 3, 6 or 12 months. And now that you set up your Smart goal, get ready to see your desired goal manifesting!

Last but not least, don’t wait for January to set up new goals. Don’t wait for Monday to start a diet, don’t wait for any future date to change your life. The present moment is the most important, start here, now, today!